


We Are Not Friends

by 305unreal



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:35:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23652427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/305unreal/pseuds/305unreal
Summary: Logan pulls a childish prank to fit in with the others. Unfortunately, it has some repercussions he hadn’t seen coming.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	We Are Not Friends

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't planning on releasing this one yet, but there's a new Sanders Sides video up. I haven't watched it yet, but... I feel like I need to upload something. This is how my mind works. <3

Virgil and Roman get very competitive playing Mario Kart on the couch. They’re not above sabotaging each other by tossing pillows around and grabbing controllers. It’s all in good fun. When Roman visits Virgil and Patton’s on-campus apartment, he always brings his roommate, Logan. While the younger boys play video games, Patton watches cat videos on his phone, and Logan quietly reads on his laptop nearby.

“Look at this one!” Patton sits on his ankles and reaches his phone screen so Logan can see. “See, it’s snowy, and she’s hop-hop-hop, and she disappeared!”

“The cat likely fell into a ditch or a gopher hole, Patton.”

The slightly older boy frown and takes the phone back. Patton is a year older than Logan, but sometimes the logical boy thinks he might be younger than Virgil and Roman – who are four years younger than him. Soon enough, Patton’s laughing at another cat. Logan has some digital copy of a novel by Tolstoy or Gorbachev, occasionally spouting out random trivia. Patton hangs onto every word like it’s magic.

“Did you know approximately 73.8% of the Russian population lives in urban centers?”

“Really?” Patton looks up at him with doe eyes. “What cities?”

“The largest city Moscow, with 10.523 million people. The other two largest cities are St. Petersburg, with 4.575 million, and Novosibirsk with”

“No one cares!” Roman pipes up from the couch. “Tell him something that doesn’t have anything to do with numbers or math.”

“… but I like math.” Patton responds quietly before leaning against Logan’s chair and watching another cat video.

Hours later, Logan and Roman head home. Patton puts away his phone to make dinner, and Virgil pulls out their collective homework. Roman shakes his head disapprovingly at Logan as they walk.

“You need to act more normal so we can all fit in.”

“Normal? I was engaging in a social construct by reg”

“You were boring everyone with random facts.” He cuts him off.

“Patton seemed to enjoy it.”

“Patton’s a nice guy. He’s patient enough to listen to anyone and friendly enough bake cookies for his enemies.” Roman sighs. “Just… like me and Virgil, okay? We”

“Virgil and _I_ ,” Logan automatically corrects.

“Whatever. _Virgil and I_ play pranks on each other and then sit down and play video games. That’s normal. Now, whattaya say about Chinese tonight?”

Later that night, Logan spends a lot of time on Tumblr and YouTube, researching pranks and practical jokes among friends. He skips over most of them, not finding any humor. Reaching one in the morning, he uncovers the Break-Up Prank. It’s so simple: call up someone, list their bad flaws, and break up with them. Hang up, call them back, and laugh because it’s a joke. Logan momentarily thinks about the time, shocked to learn what it is, but decides the older boy will likely still be awake.

“Y’ello?” Patton answers on the second ring.

“Yes, hello, Patton. We need to talk.”

“Well, hi there, Logan. It’s a mite late to be calling is it not?”

“I suppose.” He concedes. “Although we’re both awake, so perhaps not.”

Patton chuckles on the other end. “Perhaps not, Logi. Why’d you call, Buddy?”

“That right there,” Logan steadies his breathing. “You call me pet names like ‘Logi’ and ‘Lolo’, and that’s got to stop.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Patton sighs, and he sounds apologetic. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I’ll just call you _Logan_ then, alright, Buddy?”

“Fine.” He answers snappishly. “And when I come over, stop showing me cat videos and your new onesies. Stop asking for us to be on the same teams when we play board games or sitting next to me when we watch movies.”

“B-but… Logan-Buddy…”

“And stop talking to me like we’re _buddies_ ,” He spits the word out like venom. “The only reason I tag along is because Roman and Virgil are friends. Roman’s my roommate, and Virgil’s yours. There’s no correlation between us. We are not friends.”

There’s silence on the other end, and Logan hangs up feeling smug about the outcome. _That’ll show them I can’t be fun._ Logan watches the clock and counts down five minutes to let the practical joke sink in. He grabs his phone again and dials out… only, Patton doesn’t pick up. He tries two more times and then gives up. _Ah well, he probably fell asleep. I should be getting my rest too._

The following morning, Virgil wakes up half an hour late. Patton is the one with the internal clock. He always wakes up at seven, fixes breakfast, and wakes Virgil up by ten till eight. It gives them plenty of time to wake up and joke around before splitting up for their respective nine-thirty classes. It’s nearly eight-thirty when Virgil leaves his room. There’s no smell of breakfast in the air, so Virgil wanders to Patton’s bedroom and knocks.

“Pat? You okay?”

There’s no response, and Virgil tries the door. It won’t budge, and that worries the younger even more. Patton _never_ locks his door. Virgil bangs on the door and goes to the bathroom for the toolbox kept under the sink. When he arrives in the bathroom, he sees that the mirror is broken, and shards of glass are all over the floor and the sink. Patton’s phone also lies in pieces, like someone brought a hammer to it. Frantic, Virgil grabs the toolbox and his phone.

“Hello, Gorgeous.” Roman answers on the first ring.

“Ro- Ro- Ro,” Virgil wheezes out.

Roman is on full alert. “Virgil, are you home now?”

“Ye…. Hel…”

“I’m on my way.”

Still clad in his prince pajamas, Roman snatches the copy of Virgil’s key that he’s not supposed to have. He nearly barrels into Logan, who’s eating a piece of jellied toast, as he races out the door. Shocked, Logan retraces his roommate’s steps to learn why he ran out in such a hurry. Running without catching his breath, Roman arrives at Virgil’s apartment in five minutes flat. He wrenches the door open and finds Virgil struggling to breathe in the hallway. Roman crouches down and consolingly rubs circles on his back.

“Look at me, Virgie. C’mon,” He coaxes his friend to make eye contact. “Good, now breathe in four seconds, hold seven seconds, out eight seconds. Let’s do that again. I’ll do it with you, okay?”

Virgil and Roman breathe deeply, and Roman doesn’t move away. He keeps rubbing circles.

“Now, do you want to tell me what brought on your attack?”

Fresh tears form in Virgil’s eyes. “Patton. He didn’t wake me up. And he locked his door.”

Roman looks on the floor behind him. “Are you okay? Can I get up?”

Virgil nods, and Roman stands. He grabs a hammer and a screwdriver, instantly getting to work on the top hinge. By the time he’s on the final hinge, Logan walks in. He’s partially dressed, wearing shirt and sweatpants as opposed to his school outfits.

“Virgil, Roman? What’s going on?”

“Patton locked himself in his room.”

With a final nudge, the door falls. Roman walks inside. Jittery, Virgil runs past him, shaking his roommate. Patton doesn’t budge, and Virgil tears away his blankets. The younger boy is alarmed to find red marks on his roommate’s wrists, with a shard of glass and a stained note beside him. Roman moves past him and checks his pulse. It’s thready, but it’s there.

“Logan, call 911!”


End file.
